Having lived permanently in the Philippines now since 1992 I have seen a lot of goings on, some I think are OK with me but some I am not happy to see! I am a very liberal minded person on most things as I have traveled a lot and have seen many things but there is one thing that I see too often and that is the site of a young girl and a much older man who who is a tourist and looking for a fling with a young girl!
Let me explain a bit about myself first before I carry on! I am not what you could call a Prude or a Crusader on these matters but unfortunately I have seen the inevitable end to many such temporary relationships as they usually end in tears usually on the part of the girl and sometimes her children!
Some times these relations do work very well and the couple get married and either live here or move overseas to live, I was the best man at one such Wedding and the happy couple still are very happy, living overseas and they visit the Philippines every year. These unfortunately are in the minority as many such relationships never mature further than a hotel room!
You cannot blame the men totally for causing all of these kinds of problems as there are literally hundreds of thousands of Filipinas adding to the problem by advertising themselves for romance on many websites for the whole world to see so they play a big part in causing many of these unfortunate events and in fact initiate many of them!
I have seen men aged over 60 make contact with a girl on the Internet and chat and e mail for a few weeks / months before he actually makes the journey here to meet his sweet heart! Many time the girl will be disappointed to discover that he is well passed his sell by date and maybe he is not as good looking as he seemed in the older picture of himself that he posted on the webb but he is here and the girl will lose face big time if she dumps him immediately after he has made the effort to make the long journey to see her! She finds that he has not got too much money and does not own his own house or even worse, he is still married in his home country! What can she do, only hope that his visit will be a short one and she can deal with the problem when he is back in his home country by long distance!
Not quite as advertised!
On the other hand I have seen the opposite when a man arrives to meet his true love who he has been chatting too for months and even sending money to the girl but when he arrives he finds her to be married with children and she was just making money from him! These men are suddenly dumped in a foreign land and know nobody in the area unless he finds other foreigners to give him advice but in many cases they get themselves into deeper water trying to make their problems better and take advice of unscrupulous local people who find ways to remove the remaining money from the unfortunate person!
Other men come here and choose young girls as they cannot get a date with a young girl in their own country as they would quickly get the name of a Dirty Old Man, Cradle Snatcher or something similar in their own land! So, they come out to Asia where the young girls are ripe for the picking as so many dream of going abroad to a better life and the age of their partner does not matter too much as they only want what they think will be a better life in another country!
It happens quite a lot that these older men on longer term relationships want their young girl friends to have a career so they send them on Care Giver or Nursing Courses! Maybe this is the long term plan for the older man to be looked after in later life, who can tell!
Another problem for some foreign men is that their chat mate is not a girl at all but instead a gay man who is usually getting money from the unsuspecting foreigner and promising him the world when he arrives but unfortunately when the two people meet the end is usually not friendly and once again the foreign guy is left dumped in a strange land ripe for the taking by all kinds of con men who will quickly help to relieve him of all of his money and leave in stranded!
Whats on his mind?
If these older foreign guys were to be sensible and go for more mature partners, I am not saying women of similar age but in their early to middle ages the men would find most excellent partners who would not create the looks of scorn while out with the man as what happens in many cases when an elderly man is seen with a young chick! These more mature ladies are also much more worldly and can cook and know how to look after a man unlike the young girls who do not know too much and still want to go to the Disco and do the things that young people do! Many of these young girls actually live with the older men but also have a young boyfriend or two on the side and who can really blame them for that!
Others move here to live with their young Girlfriend or in some cases wife but usually find that once they settle in the house the in laws move in and more problems start there as he can be expected to supply all the food and other needs for the family, his car is not his own any more and he will be lucky if he can even borrow it at times! The extended family come for financial help such as medicine or school fees and uniforms so basically once he arrives here to stay he is expected to be the pay master for the whole family and more! Many of these guys do not stay here too long!
My advice to all of the men who come here looking for love, romance and matrimony is to be more selective age wise with the wonderful Filipino ladies, do not chose the first one you meet but look around and talk to them and you will probably find someone who might have similar interests as yourself and can hold an honest conversation with you! I am sure that most men do not want to spend the rest of their lives with girls who have nothing in common with them and they cannot even hold a sensible conversation!
There have been cases where older men here have married younger girls and their grown up children from a previous marriage have come out on a visit to find that their new Mum is younger than them and Dads new children are younger than his grand children! Now that can get complicated!
Another problem that some older guys manage to do is produce children which again I find sad because they probably will not live long enough to see their new children grow up and the children will have to grow up without a father and the mother will have to struggle to raise the children on her own!
There are many men who come out to Asia just for the Sex Tourism which is big money for any country but this will continue to happen until the Government decides to change things but I do not see this happening anytime soon! Men will continue to be lured here at the thought of finding a beautiful young bride and the ladies here will be hoping to find a foreign Husband to whisk them away to a new life in a new land!
For all the foreigners who come here and get married and live happily ever after, good luck to you but whatever happens, men will be men and will keep on visiting Asia in the hope of improving their lives, I just hope that more sensible men arrive and choose their partners more carefully and that will give their futures together a much better chance of survival than they would have with a 40 year or more age gap in many cases!
Unfortunately, the mans brain is not always what gives him his ideas in life, sometimes its his nether regions! If he gets a good time from a girl, the best time that he has had in years then common sense goes out of the window and into the trap he can fall if he is not careful!